For over 20 years, we at PDS have sold nothing but the most cutting-edge safety technologies. What a waste of time!
This new revolutionary product blows everything we’ve ever sold out of the water! Feel free to throw away your existing safety gear: it’s all obsolete now!
We are excited and proud to introduce our new Custom Onboard Managing Machine Overcoming Negative Situations to Elevate Newly Secure Environments (COMMONSENSE).
COMMONSENSE is a personal device that helps you make the right decision, 24/7, 365 days a week! Simply ask any question, and the advanced AI will tell you the best thing to do.
Here are some questions and answers that the device supplied during our testing:
Q: I’m entering a confined space for work and I think there are toxic gases inside. What should I do?
A: Bring in a vacuum cleaner to suck away all the air.
Q: I need to change a lightbulb but I don’t have a stepladder. Help!
A: Get your friends together to form a human pyramid.
Who needs a stepladder when you can step all over your friends!
Q: I am surrounded by toxic chemicals at work. How can I stay safe?
A: Boost your immune system by drinking a small sample of chemicals every day!
Q: I’m going on a date but I’m broke. How can I show my date a good time?
A: Dates are a suboptimal allocation of resources. Stay home and play Angry Birds instead (^_^)
So why wait? Order yours today!
Release Date: 1st April 3019
After all, the most important safety measure you need is COMMONSENSE.
Disclaimer:
It is 100% satirical and untrue.
Please do not follow any of the advice given in this message.
Happy April Fool’s!
If you like our article, share it with your fellow colleagues!
Warm regards,
Shirley Ng
PDS International Pte Ltd
Email: enquiry@pdssafety.com.sg
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